Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Thoughts on January

My brain was half way through a really good post, but I really needed to finish the dishes.

And as I finally sat down to write, my brain turned off.

*sighs heavily*

And this is bizarrely indicative of my life just now.  Too many things going on;  too many thoughts, too many emotions, too many, too many, too many.

To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement; to say I am exhausted to the point of wondering if one can die from anxiety and expectation is much closer to reality. 

I hate January.  We are getting record amounts of snow, and I am getting sick of the temperature being in the single digits.  I am a lizard, according to my husband;  I look fore warm spots, preferably in the sun, and bask.  There is a possibly I am a cat, since my kitties are the same way.  I suppose the telling point is that I am always cold, which I do not think my girls are.  I will also say that I do recognize that there are places that get much colder (I remember waking up in college on multiple occasions to the very chipper voice of a radio morning show host saying it was only -25, which was up from the previous day, -30.) but that does not make me any happier about temperatures that hover around 0.

Either way, I hate January. 

With today being the last day of the month, I really need to work on this hatred, as it in not helpful to me or to my next few months.  And it is not really the fault of January; the fault is really mostly mine for choosing to live in a climate that has a tendency for cold winters and hot summers. 

And this is only one of my too many things going on right now.  The rest I cannot even bring myself to talk about, since my current response to them is to get angry or to start crying. 

And right now, I do not have the energy for either of those things.

*sighs heavily again*

My shoulders are getting tense.  I think it is time for mindfulness practice.