My brain was half way through a really good post, but I really needed to finish the dishes.
And as I finally sat down to write, my brain turned off.
And this is bizarrely indicative of my life just now. Too many things going on; too many thoughts, too many emotions, too many, too many, too many.
To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement; to say I am exhausted to the point of wondering if one can die from anxiety and expectation is much closer to reality.
I hate January. We are getting record amounts of snow, and I am getting sick of the temperature being in the single digits. I am a lizard, according to my husband; I look fore warm spots, preferably in the sun, and bask. There is a possibly I am a cat, since my kitties are the same way. I suppose the telling point is that I am always cold, which I do not think my girls are. I will also say that I do recognize that there are places that get much colder (I remember waking up in college on multiple occasions to the very chipper voice of a radio morning show host saying it was only -25, which was up from the previous day, -30.) but that does not make me any happier about temperatures that hover around 0.
Either way, I hate January.
With today being the last day of the month, I really need to work on this hatred, as it in not helpful to me or to my next few months. And it is not really the fault of January; the fault is really mostly mine for choosing to live in a climate that has a tendency for cold winters and hot summers.
And this is only one of my too many things going on right now. The rest I cannot even bring myself to talk about, since my current response to them is to get angry or to start crying.
And right now, I do not have the energy for either of those things.
*sighs heavily again*
My shoulders are getting tense. I think it is time for mindfulness practice.