I just realized something really important. Success for one person cannot be determined by others.
Every one of us have goals. Things we want to be, things we want to achieve. And everyday we make choices to be successful at those goals.
I have been told by everyone what I should be, should want, how my success should look. And they are all wrong. I should have a baby, I should want a career, I should have a job, I should go back to school, I should do laundry a certain way, I should want more out of life, I should be better by now, I shouldn't be depressed, I should be happy all the time, I should grow up and move on, I should be on medication for my mental issues, I should be better than I am, I should try harder, I should get more sunshine, I should lie about how I am, I should fake it till I feel it, I should hide what is going on, I should choose to be happy.
Here is the truth: I am alive and, for the time being, that means I am a success. I have not given up on life, I have held on and kept fighting. I choose to stay alive everyday, that is my goal. And my current record for that is 100% successful. How is that not enough?
Being alive when I wanted to die is the strongest, most courageous thing I have ever done. And, today, that is enough for me.