Wednesday, November 14, 2012

"No one ever told me grief felt so like fear." ~ C.S. Lewis

I woke up this morning to a startling fact: it is November.

How did I get to November?  Strangely enough, I can actually give a pretty good record of the last few months, but I am astounded by the fact that they are gone all the same.  Time runs so differently when each day takes an eternity, but you look back and a month is gone... or two or three.

Over the last week, I have been watching the extended versions of Lord of the Rings, all three of them.  Today I finished the last one.  The theme song for Return of the King is called Into the West.  As I was singing along with it, I realized I was crying, and it had nothing to do with the movie.  I lost someone I love this summer, and it was one of the hardest things I have gone through, but also one of the best.  She was done, her journey over, but I had to go one without her.  She was mentor, friend, grandmother to me, and all by choice.  She loved me from the day she met me and never failed to tell me so.  I will always miss her.

Into the West ~ Annie Lennox

Lay down

Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say: "We have come now to the end"
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West

Loss of any kind is difficult, but the faith in a future beyond what we know can make all the difference on the days when we are having a harder time being accepting of everything that has happened.

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